Does being a 'homemaker' apply to women who have husbands, children, or both, or does it apply to every woman who is in Christ, whether she is single or not?
The family set up was interesting in the Bible days. Families were literally closer. In homes where the woman was widowed, the sons, usually the oldest, took on the family responsibilities for providing and protecting. Many homes were multi-generational. We do have that here in America today, as well. But we do have a lot of single people who live alone, or with a group of other singles, which is something that I don't think happened so much during the Bible days.
Let's take Mary and Martha, and use them as an example. They were single women. Perhaps they were widows, but, more probably, they never married. They lived with their brother, Lazarus. He was basically the head of the household. This positioning did not prevent Mary and Martha from being hospitable though. Martha must have been a pretty good housekeeper as she valued those skills highly, as seen during the time Jesus visited their home. Martha put too much emphasis on the details of how the house looked and if the roast was cooking right (I know, this is speculation). But Mary was the one who was actually the hospitable one. She was the one who gave her full attention to Jesus during His visit. If Jesus came to your home today, would you be more concerned about what your house looked like, or would you rather learn from Him while He is visiting?
Mary and Martha had good homemaking skills. Their visitors felt welcome when they came to their home. But there were other women, as well, who served those in the church by using their homes. Lydia was such a woman. In Acts 16, we read about a woman named Lydia. Not much is told about her, except that she had a household. It doesn't appear that she had a husband, but it could be that he was there too. But as we read on, she invited the Apostles into her home. I love this. Here is the account from Acts 16:15 "And after she was baptized, and her household as well, she urged us, saying, “If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay.” And she prevailed upon us." ESV. Not only did she invite the Apostles over, but she 'prevailed' upon them. I would think the means something like when I would go over to my mom's house after I got married. "Here's some cookies. Have some. I can make you some bacon and eggs. Have a sandwich. Why don't you stay for dinner." I imaging Lydia was like that. "Come on Paul. You guys need to stay at my home. We have stuff to eat and places where you can sleep. Bring those with you.There's plenty of room for everyone. You can stay as long as you like. If you ever come back to our town, you know you have a place to stay."
Keep in mind this fact; If you want to show hospitality like that, you will have to keep up with your household chores. You can't invite people over if the pile of dishes has been sitting there all week, or the crust on the countertops is getting higher and is being enjoyed by the cockroaches. There are some basic homemaking skills that will have to be employed, if you want to have people over to your house.
God wants us to use our homes as places of refuge, safely, comfort, and hospitality. This job is primarily given to women. They are to run their households, whether they are married or not. Even if the woman lives with her mom, or her parents, she can still take ownership for many things inside the home. She can help out financially, but she can also help with the upkeep of the home. She can help keep the countertops cleaned off and clean the bathrooms for whoever will be using them, whether it be a guest or a family member. There is always laundry to do, and many household chores which end up taking a lot of time. Changing linens and airing out the house is helpful too.
One of the best ways that indicate homemaking skills are necessary, is in the area of hospitality. In the days of Early America, there were these places called 'Inns' and they were people's homes which were situated in areas where others would travel. If someone were tired and there was a nearby Inn, they could stop in and rest or even spend the night. It was like a hotel, but it didn't cost anything. People could wash up and sleep and get ready for travel the next day. Running an Inn does not happen by itself. It takes a lot of work to make the house ready for people to stay over. But that is what we are called to do. We are not all called to run Inns, but we are to open our homes to those who are in the church or in need.
I say this cautiously though, for today, we need wisdom and discernment. Obviously, a single woman is not going to house a man. That would be dangerous and could lead to ruin. We are not going to open our homes to just anyone because of the dangers of being raped, robbed, or kidnapped. We live in a society where many think this is just a normal, o.k. way of living, and will abuse those who are showing compassion. But there are definitely ways to show hospitality to others, by using our homes. And it doesn't required being married and having children to do this, although this is an important dynamic, it is not necessary to show hospitality with.
Our homes can be bakeries, restaurants, hotels, and places to have conversations. Single women can do this! If you are a single woman who knows the Lord, please don't assume you are not a homemaker! You are one, and you can use your skills to serve others in the body of Christ.
How many times has there been an event through the church that requires the use of a house? How many times have we been in a position where we could use someone's home for a meeting place? I have a friend who lives in a condo, who is a single woman with grown children. I love the way she is using what God has given to her, for his purposes. She rents out a clubhouse and has it available for women to meet and pray. She is being very resourceful with what God has given her.
So, I think there is a bigger part of the picture that we don't see. So many times, we miss God because we make assumptions based upon what we have learned and already know, and somehow we don't even think of all the possibilities there are out there for God to use us.
Let us not just think of our homes as a place where we take a bath at night, and sleep on a bed. There is much more that God wants to do in our hearts concerning our homes and homemaking abilities. For each woman, it will look a little different. Let God show you how you can use your home for His glory and in serving others in the church.
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| An old, Early American ad for a woman to be hired to do the domestic chores that the seeker is looking for. It must be a very old ad, as the letter s looks like an f. That is how the letters looked in the days when the King James Version of the Bible was being printed. |
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