But you might ask, how does one 'tear their house down', or 'how does one build their house?'. What is the most common way to destroy something? It is with our words. Our words can destroy people. Our words can give life to people.
How do you think a child will grow up, if he hears words about himself that are degrading? What if a parent calls him dirty names and tells him he is worthless? Do you think that child will grow up into an adult who is functional in society?
Some of us, as women, want control and we want to make sure there is nothing to threaten our control of others, so we use our words as weapons. I have even seen families which were divided because a person set people up against each other, and gave names and labels to family members which may have been true, but to reinforce bad habits or even sinful weaknesses by labeling someone is a very bad thing to do.
Of course, we can go the other way and flatter our family members, but eventually, that too, will backfire. So, how do we encourage our husbands and children, without using flattery?
The key word in this whole thing is the word 'wise'. In order to answer the question properly, we must understand how one can be wise. The answer to this question is also found in the book of Proverbs. In Proverbs 9:10, it says that the 'fear of the Lord' is the beginning of wisdom.
We can have two different kinds of wisdom. We can have earthly wisdom, or we can have 'wisdom from above'. In order to have wisdom from above, we have to fear God, and in order to fear Him, we have to know Him, and know what He is like. We have to know what the issues are so we can understand who we are and who God is in relationship to us.
God is different than we are because He is uncreated. He also is all-knowing, present everywhere, eternal, holy, just, loving, pure, all-seeing, and perfect. We are His created beings, although we are affected by the fall of mankind when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. We live in a fallen world now, and everyone is affected by sin. Every man and woman is basically self-centered and self-seeking now. We operate independent from God, and none of us will seek God on his or her own. We want to call the shots, and we want to be in control. And we operate in ways that hurt people because of this.
We all have pride that rules our hearts. I know there are some people who exhibit pride more obviously than others, but we still operate with prideful motives. That is why we use our words to tear other people down with. Our words are weapons that hurt others. We hurt others because we believe that makes us more powerful. In a sense, it does, but in the end, it bites.
When we successfully destroy our homes, we are the ones who lose. If we live long enough to be in a nursing home, we can't expect those whom we have hurt to come visit us, or take us in. I have seen this when I visit nursing homes and it is very sad.
But, when we fear God, God gives us wisdom. It is unlike human wisdom and it is not self-serving. When we acknowledge God in all our ways, and trust in Him, He will guide us into His truth. Then we will begin to understand the love of God when He sent His Son, to die in our place to make the payment for our sins that we rightly deserve. When we understand that God loved us and made the greatest sacrifice for us, the love of God fills our hearts and we will begin to love those around us. When this happens, we will think less of ourselves and more of God and others. And when we love others, especially those in our homes, we will begin to speak the truth in love to them. We will be less tempted to gossip and slander, and we will use our words to bring Christ to them.
There is a difference in speaking the truth in love, and speaking words that might be true in order to slander another. We can speak the words of life to our family members and as they begin to respond to God, they will be changed. The words of God can change people, and when they learn that they can trust God, they will be more willing to turn to Him in obedience.
So, we can look at our words and see if they are tearing our family members down or if they are building them up. Are we speaking the truth in love to our children, or are we calling them names, hoping they will change by our doing that?
Are we cultivating a relationship with God? Are we basking in His presence or are we spending our time complaining about the weather or the electricity that just went out?
The choice is ours, and the results will be ours as well. We will reap, if not today, one day, whatever we have sown. If we have sown words that will heal, we will have a healthy family. If we have sown angry, belittling words, we will eventually have a crumbling family.
For more information on the Gospel and our relationship with God, please go to http://thegospelconversation.blogspot.com or http://test4gp.wordpress.com
"Words"
They've made me feel like a prisoner
They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king
They've lifted my heart
To places I'd never been
And they've dragged me down
Back to where I began
Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king
They've lifted my heart
To places I'd never been
And they've dragged me down
Back to where I began
Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
Words by Hawk Nelson
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